One year ago this past week I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I actually said the words… “I love you!” This was such a life changing thing to say for me and a really big deal too honestly. To give my trust and heart to someone and believe that they would take good care of it. And wow have I been blown away by how well he did just that! Then we went to being fiancé’s, how fun to share a title for just a little while! And then February 15, 2014 I became Mrs. Wick! Now we are waiting out the last month of the pregnancy of our first little boy! I can’t wait to post some pictures of his cute little face! And yes if you don’t know the story we planned our “honeymoon” baby and we will never regret that decision! We are beyond excited! Bring it on!!
I only have one thing to say about this last year. “God is faithful to keep his promises!” I can’t explain the mystery of God and how he does what he does but I do know that in my life he came through above and beyond all that I could ask or imagine! There were definitely MANY moments in my 32 years before He came through that I wondered if I would ever be a wife or a mommy! It was often painful and disillusioning but waiting changed me, it did something on the inside that couldn’t be done any other way. Especially in a world where we can “have it your way” when you want it! I don’t consider myself an extremely patient person but waiting does something to you and I am so incredibly indebted to that time no matter how hard it was.
This past year has also been a lesson on “letting go” and embracing the new chapter in my life, I could be happier to do just that. In fact the Holy Spirit has often sang the Frozen song “Let It Go” to my heart and I knew it wasn’t just something I heard on the radio but a instruction to my heart to trust what He was doing! Throughout my first months of marriage and pregnancy I could see one expectation after another being shot to smithereens. I could not possibly be the woman in the magazine. I never had been how did I expect to start now all of a sudden just because I got a new last name. There is so much pressure to be and do all these “things.” What I have learned the most is to enjoy myself just where I am, to take deep breaths, and if I don’t have jeans that fit after the baby comes I guess I will just have to go shopping! I am not in the mood to freak out about it now, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
There is song welling up inside of me that talks about what has happened to me since I said yes to love and its changed everything. There are so many version of love that have transformed me: the Lord, Stephen, my amazing friends, and also how I have learned to love myself. I think sometimes that has been the most transforming love for me. Loving this woman He has made me into, but somehow it is impossible to try and measure which one changed me the most. All I know is that this has been an amazing year and I am so glad I jumped and told my boyfriend that day in the park how I really felt and put a voice to my heart. So here we go! Five more weeks and we begin the next chapter, the pages are blank and crispy white and I can not wait for all that will be written on them in the days to come!