Have you ever wondered what Jesus’ laugh sounded like? There was a freedom on tonight’s intercession that I have not felt since I joined Zadok House of Prayer! We sang “I am free!” and sang prophetically over people!! I don’t even know how to explain what happens when God shows up and I can just sing freely! I sang like I didn’t care what people think! I really got a deeper level of freedom from fear of man!! I started singing “I got the joy, joy, joy, joy; down in my heart” song. Then I got this line in my head and sang it out “I got His silly little giggle, down in my heart!” Wish you could have been there, it was so much fun!! Maybe I will get the recording and put it on my music myspace?!!
Do you believe you are beautiful??? I don’t YET, but I am getting closer! Before the intercession set again I began my Friday night doing a devotional set, just singing out my heart to Jesus. I feel like I am finally running out of things to say! Its His turn to talk, and all He is talking about is how beautiful I am. Song of Solomon 4:7 says “YOU ARE ALTOGETHER BEAUTIFUL, MY LOVE; THERE IS NO FLAW IN YOU.” So He won’t stop singing over me how that is true of me. How when He looks at me He sees no flaw, no blemish, no stain, He holds no record of wrongs over my head, no scars! I am completely beautiful to him. This is how he brings the reality of what Jesus did on the cross to my heart! So it has been really good to just spend these times of just singing, it always gets me out of any funk! I used to think and still can think all kinds of not good stuff about myself. Its getting harder and harder to think those negative thoughts! Yahoo!!
Can you tell I am excited, well if your confused… I am really excited!!! I am on a journey with him. I see how God has totally set me up! Thanks for praying for me!!! Keep it up, its working!!
Here I am again!! yay… tonight was awesome, I got to play and sing a devotional set with my guitar. First the good sound guy was there and set my voice like “wow!!” And then I just started worshipping, kept going almost the whole time on and on about the love of God and his thoughts about me. I have this song called “For me” and its out of Psalm 139. Here’s the chorus line.
“My life is like a trail of your thoughts, precious, too many to count for me.”
So this devo is pretty much this incredible set where I just get to love on God and he loves on me!! Totally awesome and it sounded like the shizammm!! Then I started getting more intense and wanting to really understand his love and I broke a string for the first time in a long time. So I got on the piano (YES i played the piano and sang:) for about ten minutes. I have an hour long set tommorrow night and I am planning on playing the piano, I just started playing again last week. For the first time in like six years or really ever in public!!
Then I turned right around and got on an intercession set where I just get to sing. We started singing some stuff out of revelation for a while. I got stuck on “blessing and honor and glory and power be to Him alone!” I could have sang that for hours!! Then towards the end we decided to sing over people. To wait on God for what he wanted to say over those in the room. One of the girls we sang over really got touched and I was crying with her as I sang over her. “He’s right by your side!!” I just sang it over and over, and then I went and hugged her, I couldn’t take it!! God really moved mightily through our singing over people, it was awesome!! Personally my voice was stronger, more powerful, and more free than it has been since I started singing at ZHOP! So that an answer to prayer!! Which is funny because I sang for four hours!! So that my story and I am stickin to it!!
Tonight i have been studying the wisest guy in the world to have ever lived, Solomon. I did a character study on him and I am just scratching the surface of understanding this man. I am mostly studying him to understand the Song of Solomon. I really never knew about this book until about five years ago when I felt to read it. God used it in a HUGE way to show his love to me. It worked. During my School of Worship outreach in Australia in 2003 I felt waves of God’s love on a daily basis. He basically wooed my heart with this incredible yet mysterious book! So this past few weeks I have felt the urgency to go back to the book and become a student of it. Rather than just experiencing the initial joy of experiencing God’s love, to go deeper in it and really DIG!
Its hard, I know there is so much in my heart that resists really believing that I AM LOVED. That I am “altogether beautiful and there is no spot in me.” These past few weeks I have spent time singing through some of the verses but almost reluctantly, I have been through a lot since that initial time on that outreach. But He set a foundation for me to stand on and now I feel its time to start again. But its not starting over, its just different. I spend most of my time in the house of prayer singing, but tonight studying added to it makes my heart alive!! I love the WORD OF GOD!!! It truely is a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet!!