hey soul

I was reading in Psalm 42 today and realized some things. I need time to poke around in my heart and see what’s really there. It says “Why are you cast down, O MY soul?…” So its my soul, my job, my responsibility not anyone else’s to look at and deal with.  I am the steward over my own soul, the gatekeeper, I decide what goes in and what comes out. I have too often expected others to find what’s wrong with me and fix it. Or even wanting God to just fix me, but I don’t want to do the leg work of finding out what’s really going on and talk to him about it. And then next week I still feel down cast about the same thing. A new chorus I have been singing..”let’s talk about my heart, let’s talk about the hard things, let’s talk about the fears inside of me.” In other words, hey soul lets get to work so we can get free from the fear. I often talk a lot but not about what is really going on. Then it all builds and builds and builds and whoa… explosion!! Not good! I can’t pour my heart out to the Lord for real if I haven’t given my heart/soul a good thorough looking at? What if I don’t even know what is wrong, I have to be intentional with Michelle, she’s worth the time and talk!! Its a different way to look at quiet times or processing. I have to let the word have its way with me right! But I have to do my part!